I've mentioned the cruel tooth brushing torture technique used by the Humans in the past. Well, there was some conversation between Man and Woman about 'not working'. I thought they were talking about me, but I can't be expected to work and further the cause of Evil at the same time.
However, it seems they were talking about the tooth brushing. Once again, I was stuffed inside the portable prison, taken outside and brought to the Head Torturer's lair. The Head Torturer in his white coat started poking around in my mouth. It's too bad biting is not my style.
Then he put a cold probe on my chest and said murmur. Hah! Those silly Humans will never learn. It's mrrrrrr, mrrrrr, not murmur. Teaching a human to purr or meow is an exercise in futility.
We went home, and Woman spent the next week putting some disgusting tasting fluid in my mouth twice a day. In revenge, I threw up on her floors for her. I know how much she likes cleaning that stuff up!
A week later, it was back to the Head Torturer's lair. Once again, he failed in his meow attempts and said murmur.
To make matters worse, Woman brought me back there again the next day and LEFT ME! The only good thing was that I used to networking opportunity to spread The Word to all the other kitties in the lair that day. And by the time Woman returned, I had the Head Torturer's lair workers wrapped around my paw.
However, all of this pales in comparison to yesterday's events. Woman brought me there again and left me. I was poked, prodded and stuck with things by the Head Torturer and his assistants. The next thing I know, I'm waking up with teeth missing.
I couldn't get out to throw up on their floor in revenge, so I made a mess of myself in the cage. Ha! They think the poor little kitty couldn't control himself, but I knew exactly what I was doing! REVENGE ... Freddy style. Humans are not nearly as fond of cleaning up cat messes as they should be.
Finally, Woman brought me home. I let them know in no uncertain terms that I had missed two feedings and was hungry. I jumped on every countertop I could. But something was wrong, and I kept falling off. Man then putting the icing on the cake by putting me in the dog crate. Can you imagine? They were trying to watch television, so I meowed pitifully through their whole program. That'll teach them. And, as an added bonus, rather than settle down on the bed as I know Woman wanted me to do, I paced the halls meowing all night.
