There's a rumor going around that Man thinks he is going to get his place back in the bed, now that he's not working midnights. Hah! I, the Fred, will not give up my honored place between the pillows. For starters, it tells all that I am the Ruler, the One in Charge. Secondly, it's really comfortable. That pink bas**** can just find another place to sleep. I've worked too hard for this.

I've fought cats, dogs, Woman ... I've earned it!


A good night's sleep is essential to the furtherment of my Plan. Man will feel the Wrath of Fred, trust me. Nothing says I Hate You like a Claw to the Head in the middle of the night. This spot is mine!!!