Sunday, August 14, 2011

A missive to my minions:

Mother Nature has foiled my plans for the day. How can I attempt to reach the outside world when gallons of water are being dumped from the sky?

First of all I would get wet. Now, it's not that I'm vain, but my chief weapon in spreading evil is my ability to make humans submit to my incredibly cute appearance and soft gentle meow. I have found during my experimentation that wet fur is not nearly as enticing to humans as dry fur.

Furthermore, it seems that, for some reason, my meow becomes shrill when I'm wet. I've checked my Feline-ential Equations book, written by the great historical mathematician Meowler, and found no correlation between a wet condition and the meow, so I remain baffled about that.

At any rate, the verdict is ... there will be no furthering of The Plan today. I recommend cat naps for all, so we are well rested for future endeavors.

The Fred out.