Monday, September 19, 2011

Aha! My minions, I have good news to report. As many of you must know by now, applying the shredders to the tender pink skin of Man or Woman usually results in much screaming and yelling. Not a result that displeases by any means, however, I've recently found a better way.

Woman has been forcing some foul-flavored liquid down my throat several times a day for weeks now. On a side note, if any of my minions know what this bubblegum flavor is, please let me know. At any rate, what I have discovered is that applying the shredders to Woman's easily torn skin during this frequent event does not yield the expected result. In fact, rather than yell or scream, Woman actually pets me and whispers words that, I assume, are intended to soothe me.

Mwuhahahahaha! She is totally under my control now.