Minions, Tree Season is upon us. When furthering The Plan, it's important not to overlook the 'sanity' factor. I am creating a small list of simple things you can do for maximum sanity-reducing effect. By the end of Tree Season, we'll have the Furless ones begging for mercy.

1 - Ribbons on boxes underneath the tree are clearly gifts for you. Every human knows that cats like to play with these.
2 - Paper-covered boxes are to be torn open. Humans will have no secrets from us.
3 - Balls hanging from tree branches are to be batted until they fall from the tree.
4 - At least one ball should be hidden underneath heavy furniture so your Man or Woman doesn't find it until well past Tree Season.
5 - Another ball should be stored in a more accessible place for batting around on wood floors in the middle of the night.
6 - Shrubbery that hangs from bannisters, windows, and/or doors should be torn down.
7 - If your Man or Woman sets up cards on shelves or tables, they should be knocked over on a regular basis.
8 - Small statue-thingies that are placed on shelves make a particularly displeasing-to-humans sound when they hit the floor.
9 - Trees are for climbing, every cat knows this.
10 - DON'T EAT that glittery stuff or those plants with the red berries. Those are devious plots by the humans to make us ill.

Happy Tree Season and human tormenting to all!

Fred out.