This week has brought new horrors to me at the hands of my torturers. What does ear infection mean? I can't find it in my Guide to Unacceptable Human Interference, but it must be some sort of torture technique. First, I got stuffed in a very small cage, then I was taken outside. My evil heart leapt for joy at the scent of fresh air ... until I realized the pinkies had taken the torture to an unsurpassed high! I could not get free from my prison.

Then Woman took me into another building, where other cats that have not yet joined my minions were also being held in prison cells. To my horror, several dogs were also there and none of them were Black Dog or Brown Dog.

Then we went into another room where I was finally freed from my cell. However, the scents that assailed my nose led me to believe that this was not an acceptable place from which to mount my quest for global domination, so I stayed put.

Another pinkie wearing a white coat, started sticking all sorts of things in my ear. They then placed me back in my cell and Woman took me home.

Now, the torture occurs twice a day. They stick cotton in my ear and move it all around. Than a cold liquid is put in my ear and allowed to trickle down inside my brain. Then they squish my ear around and I hear the liquid trying to eat my brain. Do they think this will stop my quest? Never! Foolish pinkies.

Fred will prevail. FRED WILL PREVAIL!!

Hah! The pinkies bought new beds for Black Dog and Brown Dog (Woman says that Puppy is no longer Puppy, but Dog, so to avoid ambiguities, I shall refer to them by their color schemes).

Why, you may wonder, do Black Dog and Brown Dog get new beds while I, Soon-to-be-Master of all Things Furry and Bald, have to use a scratching post that is frayed and bare? It seems that Man was feeling crowded with Black Dog, Brown Dog, and all my minions in the bed and he wants Black Dog and Brown Dog to sleep on the floor.

Not that I mind the banishment of the Long-snouted ones from the bed, however I find the new beds pleasing to my Freddyness. The Begging Ones will have to sleep around me. It is very easy to convince Black Dog to sneak onto the end of the bed, where she will surely be on the receiving end of OFF. While she is up there, I stretch out on the bed, making sure she has no room when she returns.

And when I tire of that Game, I plop myself down on the pillows in the middle of the bed, between Man and Woman, defying them to move the cuteness that is Fred.