Good news, Minions!
The Plan must be working because, once again, Woman packed me into the portable prison to take me to see the Head Torturer. This can only mean that Man and Woman are getting nervous about my progress.
I've stepped up my attacks to include some messy house-soiling. Woman and Man find this technique particularly loathsome, so they took me to the Torturers house.
I fixed her. While waiting with all the other political prisoners, I soiled my crate - not in the messy manner I had been using at home, but a nice, solid one so when the Head Torturer looked at it, he thought Woman was crazy when she claimed my dirty protest consisted of much messier stuff.
She told Man that I embarrassed her. Hmm, embarrass. This is not a word that appears in any of Fluffy's Guide to Feline Emotions editions that I've ever seen, however, I shall endeavor to cause Woman to be embarrassed in the future, now that I know it displeases her.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 01, 2011
Success! I've been trying to get Black Dog and Brown Dog to further my cause for years.
I know, you're probably wondering why would I, a magnificent cat, expect anything useful from Dogs when it comes to world domination. The silly tail-wagging, panting, joyful greeting they provide Man and Woman with every time they see them, is enough to make any cat have a hairball. However, it's the little things they do that can help. And if they don't want to face the business end of my FLAW-overcoming claws, they have to start producing.
Plus, and don't tell the long-snouted ones this but ... I need Man and Woman to be mad at Black Dog and Brown Dog. How can I take over the world while they're working together to keep the Humans in charge?
Anyway, they must have gotten the memo because Woman went outside to use that loud, grass cutting thing. I've watched from my indoor prison and seen her walk through the yard, picking up any 'present's the dogs may have left.
Today, Brown Dog waited for her to start the loud, grass cutting thing and then left another gift for her in the high grass. When Woman reached that area, she stepped in it. Much stamping around the yard and hosing off of her shoes ensued, followed by a look of disgust that almost warmed my icy heart.
I know, you're probably wondering why would I, a magnificent cat, expect anything useful from Dogs when it comes to world domination. The silly tail-wagging, panting, joyful greeting they provide Man and Woman with every time they see them, is enough to make any cat have a hairball. However, it's the little things they do that can help. And if they don't want to face the business end of my FLAW-overcoming claws, they have to start producing.
Plus, and don't tell the long-snouted ones this but ... I need Man and Woman to be mad at Black Dog and Brown Dog. How can I take over the world while they're working together to keep the Humans in charge?
Anyway, they must have gotten the memo because Woman went outside to use that loud, grass cutting thing. I've watched from my indoor prison and seen her walk through the yard, picking up any 'present's the dogs may have left.
Today, Brown Dog waited for her to start the loud, grass cutting thing and then left another gift for her in the high grass. When Woman reached that area, she stepped in it. Much stamping around the yard and hosing off of her shoes ensued, followed by a look of disgust that almost warmed my icy heart.
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