I have been subjected to the ultimate humiliation at the hands of humans - they brushed my teeth! How disgusting is this? I did my best to tear holes in their flesh in an attempt to stop the torture - all to no avail (although I am proud to say I drew First Blood - picture me with a bandana wrapped around my head emerging dramatically from a rice paddy armed with an AK-47 ... alright ... armed with sharp, pointy claws as deadly as any assault weapon).

As they have clearly decided to escalate their mistreatment of me to include humiliation and torture, I have decided to up the ante. I will no longer be satisfied with global domination. I must conquer the universe.

Must ... get ... opposable thumbs!